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I’m gonna miss seeing people riding their horses down the street. Laying on my bedroom floor staring at the ceiling. How the sun shines thru my window in the morning. My light green walls. My bathroom. My small, unbearable closet. How it takes 5 minutes to get literally anywhere in town from my house. The people at my work. My dogs, oh god especially my dogs. My parents. I keep thinking about everything I’m gonna miss when I move. I try not too because every time I do I get all emotional. I cried at 3 am the other night thinking about it. But I need to move. I need to grow on my own. It’s inevitable and prolonging the pain is like taking a bandaid off slowly.
This is the greatest break up I will ever go through in my life and I still have 2 more months to endure the pain.

Yesterday I served this party from a church near where I live (I know because they used the business card to pay). They tipped me way to generous for their modest 100$ or so tab, and its always relaxing having people who actually are polite. I made a bad joke with my manager that the tip money I got was from the collection plate. After I left work I stopped to get gas, and this gentleman, who seemed confused and a little slower, asked if I wanted to buy jumper cables. It scared me because I’m alone at the gas station at 11 at night. I told him no and kept pumping my gas. He then said his card wasn’t working and he didn’t know how he was going to get where he was going. Usually I don’t trust people like this, spanging at stores, but I felt he was being genuine, so I have him some money. He went right inside and put it in his tank and thanked me, also told me I had a nice car. When I left I thought, the money I have him was nothing to me. It’s just money. Money that a group of very polite and generous church goers gave to me, just minutes before. Kindness goes into the world and comes out to the world. I’m just glad I was able to give what I got. And I hope I can feel that feeling a lot more in my life.